Monthly Archives: December 2019

For Shame

The other day someone who is ungrateful, dysfunctional and a bully told me a story of their friend who went partying even though their mom was just admitted to hospital. I am a believer that life goes on and if there is nothing you can do, don’t stress over it. In this case I did not think it appropriate but it was justified. The person most likely went ahead to the party as all their life their mother was a dysfunctional bitch. Sorry to say but its true.

The mother would ignore the child’s chronic illness and also degrade and emasculate the father. This is where I come in as I have faced similar emasculation, though not for as many years.

When I heard this bitch was afflicted with cancer I said in my mind, and now on paper “that’s what you get you ****ing bitch.” I was ashamed of myself for thinking that but I still felt I was justified. I prayed to God to forgive me of my insensitive thoughts but it took some time to go away. My anger and hate came from my being able to relate to the father going through decades of being **** on, daily. His youth being ground down and blown away in the wind.

I thought that I would write him a letter saying how this is his time to enjoy life now that she is going to be dead. God help me. I’m the most docile worm you ever met but my mind takes me to some dark places at times. I’m not the one who gave her the cancer, her behavior and the universe did that. The universe is punishing me also right now, I think…

Anyways, don’t think I’m the worst person in the world. There are about what, 8 billion people by now? I’m maybe in the top 3 billion worst.

Let me pray. God please have mercy on me, and please help me to earn your favor so I may live comfortably and happy in this life and the next. Amen.


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Social Status

I often sound like a broken record but I guess I am like Dori of Finding Nemo fame. Ideas that I have encountered previously pop up and I’m like “You look familiar.” I was driving to work today wondering how people get scammed by the same hustles over and over. I also was wondering how I continue to allow myself to endure disrespect, abuse and isolation. Unfortunately i did not motivate myself enough to remove myself from my current shit-uation but the idea that resurface is people want to feel exceptional.

Oh now I remember what sparked the idea. It was a song I was listening to on Youtube. In essence they guy was praying to God not to allow him to just be another nobody. I wondered, why would you not want to be like everyone else. In actuality you are almost identical to everyone else. Given the same geographic location, education, familial structure, and other environmental conditions you are almost the same as the other guy. That is why the kids in the upscale community have similar stats and they are different from the kids in poverty who have stats identical to other kids in poverty.

So why was this singer praying to God to make him exceptional? It is because we are social animals and we gain approval and validation from our peers and others. We need people to prop us up emotionally and psychologically.

I recently watched a nature documentary on a troop of monkeys in India. What it showed was the social hierarchy of the monkeys is deadly serious to the point where if you are of low social status you may starve to death. Just as we have a social order where crime and violence are shunned, the same translates to this and other groups pf primates. A monkey could simply grab the food from a higher ranking one but they do not. Their conformance to the social order causes them to starve to the point of death unless a higher ranking monkey authorities them to eat or adopts them and inducts them into the higher social class where they have access to the first share of food.

So the singer, a human, a so-called higher form of primate still lives by the primitive social constructs to which we all subscribe. The higher you are in status, the greater access you have to human resources. People who view you as deserving of special treatment, are invaluable. Soldiers fight and die based upon the imaginary social hierarchy that allows the commanding officer to order them to take that hill. A woman is able to extract resources from a man who works to wine, dine and gift her fine things, because he holds her of higher value than himself. In the case of a pimp, he is able to extract resources from a woman who most likely has suffered so much trauma she believes her social status to be very low.

We are social animals. All relationships are transnational. Therefore you can negotiate the profit margin in your transaction based upon your perceived social status in the troop. This to me explains the innate capacity for humans, especially myself to express Stockholm Syndrome, which people now call Trauma Bonding.

So now that we are aware of this, what is to be done? The benefit of a soicial order is the capacity to collaborate, but it is like the proverbial golden handcuffs which also debilitate.


Photo credit: Huxley, T. H. (1904). Science and education: Essays. JA Hill and company

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Audi Q7 4.2L Base BAR engine codes(Revised)

The car started to idle rough, sometimes it would shut off, other times it was difficult to start. The EPC and CEL(check engine light) were both on. To prevent the car from laboring too much I would have to keep it in neutral at stops. I updated this posting in red. 

The following two codes(P0171, p0174) were remedied by replacing the PVC valve that is located near the firewall above the throttle body. You will need a T27 or T30 star bit to get it out. It is in a tight space. Took me about 45 minutes. Under further inspection these codes are caused by a split hose. A leaky vacuum hose connected to the intake. 



The following code(P0129B) was remedied by bending the metal contacts inside the connectors to the two high pressure fuel pumps. Once I had gotten this code previously because of a blown fuse in the engine bay fuse box located under the hood, on the drivers side just below the windshield. It was one of the blue 15 amp fuses. Its best to check the fuses and connectors before replacing these high pressure pumps because they are expensive. This took about 2 hours of trail and error, swapping relays, testing the regulator/solenoid coil continuity, battery connections, etc. After replacing my High Pressure Fuel Pump at the tune of about $300 I found this issue is related to the solenoids. Under the driver’s side wind sheild wiper there is a fuse box. One section is easy to open with plastic knobs, the back of it has to be removed using torx bits. I saw a solenoid number 614 in both sections. I swapped them around and this code went away.


The following (P0300)code was remedied by changing the PVC valve, the ignition coils and spark plugs. The issue arose because the bad PCV valve caused oil to build up in the spark plug wells and reduced the quality of the connection between the ignition coil and spark plug. I could have simply cleaned the connectors on the coils and the plugs and this would probably have been good enough. I would suggest using a lot of dielectric grease when putting the coils in as it keeps some of the motor oil from getting into the space between the coils and plugs. I forgot to put grease on the ignition coil harness connectors…… Before buying a whole set of ignition coils. I would try to clean the connectors inside. This was caused by the solonoid mentioned above. 


I found the best deal on the OEM NGK spark plugs  and no frills ignition coils on I cant recall where I purchased the PVC/breather box as it took me a year after buying it to install it. If you have the time and the freedom(#MGTOW) just address a CEL/EPC light immediately or other problems will develop. Those of us on the plantation do not have that luxury and end up spending thousands for the dealer to do a simple fix.

If you need to access Qudi Q7 4.2 Manuals I found a few by digging around online and have uploaded them here: Audi Q7 4.2 Manuals

Featured photo: Tennen-Gas [CC BY-SA 3.0 (

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